Alan’s Blog of Monkey Bloginess

Returning to that vintage year of 2004 for me and blog writing, I’m pulling another look into the nature of my spirituality with the post “Pop Culture Theology” from August 10, 2004

So, Seth lent me volumes 3 & 4 of the Sandman comics. I’ve gotten hooked on them. They are so good. The fourth volume deals with Hell, and Lucifer getting sick of running Hell and quitting. God needs Hell to give meaning to Heaven and in the end appoints two more angels to run the place of eternal suffering. This reminded me a lot of another story that shaped my ideas of good and bad.

There are, actually, two bodies of work that I can pinpoint that have had a profound influence in my ideas of good and evil and balance. The first being Anne Rice’s Memnoch the Devil, the fifth book in the Vampire Chronicles; and the second being Se7en. I find it mildly embarrassing that these two works of entertainment have had a profound spiritual influence on my views … but then I also realize one can pull influence from anything, it’s all a matter of your perspective.

I remember reading Memnoch the Devil, most noticeably the scene where the devil and God are talking and God telling Memnoch that he needs him to run Hell. The story is remarkably similar to the Sandman story, where Memnoch was tired of being evil incarnate and wanted out. But in doing so would diminish the power of Heaven. And Memnoch was cast from Heaven not because he was evil … but simply because he did not agree with God.

This opened my eyes to the relatively of good and evil. One cannot exist without the other. They are two sides of the same coin. In being such, evil is not evil, but only so because of one’s perception of what is evil. One person’s evil is another person’s good. It’s a matter of perspective.

Hell exists because if it didn’t exist … if the Yin to Heaven’s Yang was absent … then Heaven would also not exist. Good cannot exist without evil. Because it is relative. If there was no evil, then the not as good would be evil. It’s simply a matter of degree, based on a person’s perceptions, a person’s judgment.

Next, comes Se7en, which spoke of the seven deadly sins. They represent excesses of humanity’s traits. Indulgences. From this I pulled my ideas of noble living. I’m not a religious person … I don’t think if I sit around, get fat, watch TV, and screw like a rabbit, that I’m going to Hell. I don’t view those as negative traits at all. I can see a societal function to getting people to believe that doing that would be bad, because our natural tendency is to do just that … why work when we can lounge, why not indulge in excess. But, how would one view their life when it is time for it to end? Would one look back and feel good about their time on Earth?

I’ve developed my sense of living a life that I would feel good about. This was helped by a previous revelation in my life several years previous where I thought about how I was living and how it wasn’t making me happy. When I was 14, I realized that lying, cheating, and stealing weren’t making me happy. I felt bad doing those things. And it could hurt people. So, I renounced those things and worked hard to no longer do them. I vowed to no longer lie, cheat, or steal. Though I’m not always 100% successful and occasionally give in to temptation, I try my best to be honest and to not hurt people.

This was fueled by Se7en when I thought of temptation and decided I would try hard to live nobly, to do my best to live my life to cause the least amount of pain in other people’s lives. I found that being aware of my actions and feelings, and how they related to these sins, helped me realize how my actions effected those around me. Now, I am by no means perfect and falter on these regularly, but I try to live as nobly as I can.

After seeing Se7en a couple times, I became sort of obsessed with the seven deadly sins, writing them in various notebooks and working them into an early version of my website I worked on in high school.

So, that’s how two examples of popular culture have shaped some of my spiritual views. There have been many other influences from people that I have crossed paths with at various times in my life, to other books and movies. I pull influence from everything around me.

Since writing this post, a couple other movies have shaped my ideas of spirituality beyond the Christian ideas of Memnoch or Se7en. Most notably Interstate 60, Bug and to a lesser degree I ♥ Huckabees.

It seems 2004 was a good year for me and blog writing as I’m pulling another post from that year. This one takes a look at how a being such as “god” would procreate, and I postulate that perhaps we’re part of that process. Here’s my old post Alternate View of “God” and Meaning of Life from July 12, 2004

Last night, Dougie and I played around with warping reality. We talked about VH1’s Best Week Ever, and he mentioned how in 2140, it will probably be used by some college student doing his doctorate on early 21st Century Pop Culture. I sided with it probably never seeing the light of day because of the amount of stuff that we pump out, it will likely be overshadowed by other stuff that would remain in the collective unconscious, and it would fade away.

He said then, that fine, he would live to be a 160 and convince some college student to use Best Week Ever in a paper just to prove me wrong. I told him, excellent, e-mail me the results so I can be proven wrong. I would be found in a computer farm in the Midwest with my consciousness, along with many others, in an advanced computer system.

So, I am now expecting an e-mail in 2140 from Dougie with a college student’s paper using Best Week Ever as a source.

We also talked about the future of existence. I had blabbed on about it to Jim earlier in the night, but when Doug brought up Stargate SG-1 where the Asgard’s bodies are pretty frail, it brought up ideas I had talked about earlier. Essentially, the theory is the Asgard are so advanced mentally that their bodies are suffering from atrophy because their use their minds and technology for so much. Now, further down in evolution, there might come to a point where they no longer even need their bodies, and they would become pure consciousness. I think this could happen in human evolution, as well.

But, what if using technology to implant ourselves into a computer system would speed up this process, because we’d be removing ourselves from our bodies and that could allow our minds, our consciousness to develop without the limits imposed by existing inside a physical form. Doug mentioned we’d just be replacing one physicality with another, the computer system, but what I countered with that’s not necessarily true. Because in the computer system, our consciousness would exist without limits because our existence would purely abstract.

Then, I thought what if the purpose of Life, The Universe, and Everything is to create a consciousness that transcends the physical plane. A being of pure thought. What if this has happened many times before, and that God, a being of pure thought and power, actually did create the Universe. But, created an existence with a set of rules that would eventually lead by a series of evolutionary steps that would result in a species, or even a single entity that would transcend and become like him.

What if existence is God’s way of reproduction.

How else is a being of pure thought going to procreate? It wouldn’t be sexually, or with another being. It’d have to be through pure creation. To create a Universe, a set of rules, that would result in another. Kind of like a mother chicken with her egg. She creates it and then watches over it as inside the chick grows. God created the rules, and is ever present as his creation slowly evolves, eventually, in a very long time, to a point where the result will be another God.

He did create man in his image. Just not directly.

So, we’re not even the final stage of evolution. We’re kinda in the middle somewhere. Much like how early land-walkers had underdeveloped legs to walk on … but they had them and used them. Maybe our consciousness are still evolving and it’s underdeveloped. It has much further to go before it’s finished. So there’s so much more for the human race to learn and do … we just aren’t there yet.

And if this is true, and God does exist as pure thought, then he would also exist outside of time, since we’re traveling through time in only one direction, so our perception is completely skewed with time moving linearly with what’s happening next completely unknown. It would be nearly impossible for us to comprehend fully time moving non-linearly simply because we have not experienced it. There’s nothing relatable for us to pull understanding from. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. It was inconceivable that the Earth could be round or that it wasn’t the center of all existence.

What if God was a being that existed outside of time, then that would make him all-knowing. So, his creation in the Universe would be infallible. So, nothing that happens would be wrong. Everything is happening precisely as it is supposed to happen. That doesn’t mean sit back and don’t do anything, because you’re supposed to do something. Everything that happens is to advance the human race and evolve consciousness. But, we can rest assured that everything we’re doing is right … both the “good” and the “bad”. But we should be striving for the advancement of our race … at least from my perspective.

But then again, what if we’re a stepping stone in evolution, and we’re not even the the branch that is going to be the final product. Or, maybe this really is all like an egg, and at the end only one consciousness will break free and destroy the Universe and everything that we recognize as existence and reality in order to transcend. Kind of like a chick breaking open its egg.

Or maybe it’s a collective thing, where our consciousness doesn’t disappear or go to “Heaven” … but collects. The idea of the collective unconscious could be the result of consciousness building on itself. It already transcends the physical and time planes. It could explain the leaps in human inventions where ideas seemingly come out of thing air. It’s from an absence of time, or freedom from it.

It destroys the entire existence it knows up until that point to start new in a bigger one. Though, an astute critic will point out that I’m drawing lines of comparison between things I know and understand with something I’m making up, so it’s flawed. But, if the greater scope of things is something completely different than everything we know and understand, the best we can do is try to figure it out with past experiences and hope eventually the truth will come out.

Then maybe there are many other Gods, beings of pure thought and consciousness, existing outside of our perceptions of time, and they each have created their Universes for the same purpose. And then all these other Universes also result in new consciousness.

And I find it particularly interesting that this idea would essentially prove everyone fundamentally right. Except for the atheists, but screw them anyway (personally, I’m agnostic).

Just some more of the ideas floating around in my head.

I don’t necessarily believe that this is how things are. That there is a “god” and we’re its children on an evolutionary path to become its equals. Though, I do believe there is an evolutionary path that could take consciousness beyond physical form and create god-like beings, but I don’t believe that our Universe was created by one of these beings.

And after I made this posting, Stargate SG-1 delved more into the themes that were talked about with the Ancients and Ascension. They also explained why the Asguard weren’t looking to Ascension as a solution to their genetic problems. So, Dougie & I weren’t too far off from a future envisioned by the Stargate writing staff.

One of the greatest aspects of Stargate to me, though it dates the show, are the pop culture references. Particularly O’Neill’s love of “The Simpsons”. I’ve counted three “Simpsons” references in “Stargate SG-1″’s run and Wikipedia enlightens us on a couple more in one episode. I’ve previously blogged about some of them, so I dug up the old posts.

On March 25, 2004 I wrote about Season 4 Episode 10 “Beneath the Surface”:

I noticed a Simpsons reference in Stargate SG-1 tonight. In the episode, ‘Beneath the Surface’, O’Neill, Carter, Daniel, and Teal’c were on this other planet and had their memories replaced, and they were trying to remember their real lives. O’Neill, when remembering someone, says:

“I remember something. There was a man. He’s bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he’s very important to me.”

So far, it sounds like he’s talking about General Hammond, who is bald, wears short-sleeved shirts, and is his General. But, then adds:

“I think his name is Homer.”

On Sept. 17, 2004 I noticed in Season 1 Episode 21 “Within the Serpent’s Grasp”:

Last night, watching Stargate SG-1 on Sci-fi, they showed the “Within the Serpent’s Grasp” episode, and there was yet another Simpsons reference, by Jack O’Neill …

Daniel: (staring at a huge floating sphere) Teal’c, What is this?
Teal’c: It is a Goa’uld long range visual communication device. Somewhat like your television, only much further advanced.
Jack: Mmm… Goa’uld TV…

Though, when looking up the reference, it seems the original line was “Ya think it gets Showtime?”, but was changed by the Sci-fi channel.

In an homage to Homer’s propensity for saying “Mmm … [insert possibly edible object name here]“.

I had previously noticed but not noted in Season 6 Episode 4 “Frozen” this next “Simpsons” reference by Jack O’Neill. Jack and Teal’c are with Hammond in his office when there is an off world activation alarm:

O’Neill: D’oh!
Teal’c: What is it O’Neill?
O’Neill: I forgot to tape the Simpsons!
Teal’c looks unimpressed
O’Neill: It’s important to me!

Lastly, according to Wikipedia in the Season 8 Episodes 19 & 20 “Moebius”:

O’Neill’s last line in “Moebius”, “Close enough” is an homage to The Simpsons episode “Treehouse of Horror V” that involves Homer Simpson time traveling and unintentionally making numerous changes to history; upon returning to a timeline where his family has snake tongues but everything else is otherwise normal, he says “eh, close enough”. In the same SG-1 episode, the name of O’Neill’s boat is “Homer”. This is one of several references to The Simpsons on Stargate SG-1, all centered around O’Neill. Incidentally, in the brief shot of O’Neill boat showing the name, the font used is the same font used extensively in The Simpsons.

In the episode O’Neill had mentioned in a recording from an alternate timeline that his pond didn’t have fish in it, but in the reality that exists there are, in fact, fish in his pond. This prompts the “close enough” line.

Are there any other “Simpsons” references in Stargate episodes I may have missed? Let me know in the comments.

Did you ever want to control the forces of life & death? The Kandarian Book of the Dead is a good place to start. As shown in The Evil Dead trilogy, the Necronomicon has the ability to open the gates between Earth and Hell. What better for a little light weekend reading? But do you know Kandarian?

Have no fear, for I have translated this ancient text from the original Kandarian to modern day English without all the mucking about in the woods and falling victim to demonic possession. The alphabet is different, but remarkably Kandarian uses similar words and sentence structures as English. Below you’ll find an iPaper with the original Kandarian and modern day English translations from the Necronomicon.

Just, please, read with your eyes, not with your lips. Whatever you do: Do not read aloud.

I had originally translated these texts back in January of ‘03, but in the past 6 and a half years the original translation has been lost. I’ve dug up the original archeological photographs and retranslated the ancient texts.

Here’s what I said regarding my first go-round with translating the Necronomicon back on Feb. 2nd, 2003:

I got the Book of the Dead edition of the Evil Dead DVD from my cousin for $12.50 … and I was looking through the book it came in (that is a replica of the actual Book of the Dead made for the movie), and there’s weird writing through it. I figured out it is normal English with a different character set. So, I figured out the alphabet, and translated what the Book of the Dead said.

Some of it is really funny.

Get your own copy of the Book of the Dead!

See larger image The Evil Dead (Book Of The Dead Limited Edition) (DVD) Starring: Bruce Campbell, Sam Raimi Rating: NC-17 List Price: $49.98 USD New From: $22.99 In Stock Used From: $7.99 In Stock Released March 5, 2002.

There’s a really interesting mocumentary available on Hulu concerning the re-legalization of marijuana that is both highly informative and side-splitting funny: Totally Baked. I hadn’t previously left a review on Hulu, but with the amount of people not understanding the style of film, I felt the need to give my take. It’s not your classic documentary or mocumentary or comedy, but takes elements from several styles of film and threads them together. It’s a very entertaining and humorous film, and I felt it needed an adequate explanation for those who don’t understand film.

This is a genre crossing film that starts with a central story thread and then uses stand-up routines from the 4:20 Hour Stand-Up (on Hulu) and combines it with documentary elements, mocumentary elements, skits, and parodies to present information for the re-legalization of marijuana. It’s a bit scattered in presentation and highly satirical in the lineage of Kentucky Fried Movie and Amazon Women on the Moon, but does so with the intention of teaching facts about marijuana and attempting to dispel government propaganda myths. Every bit of information presented in this film I have heard previously from more reputable sources than I have heard information presented by the government and other interest groups, and it’s all presented in a highly entertaining, laugh-out-loud funny way. I was in tears at the end with some of the skits, particularly the Martha Stewart/How Much Does It Take To Overdose skit. I’m going to immediately purchase this on DVD after I hit submit for this review.

Totally Baked

If you liked my review, go to the reviews page for Totally Baked on Hulu and let people know it was helpful. I’m thinking of getting more into reviews on Hulu, and may post those here as well with links to the video like I did here. Are people interested?

Also, I tried to go get the DVD immediately after writing that review … but failed in finding an in-store copy.

In honor of Zombieland coming out today, I’m pulling out another Flashback blast from the past post. This one is titled “How Could Zombies Exist?” from April 14, 2004.

Last night, while trying to fall asleep, I was thinking about … zombies. But, I was thinking how could zombies really exist. If zombies are reanimated dead people, then how would that work? When a person dies, their cells no longer receive nutrients from the blood and die. Zombies’ hearts don’t beat, so the blood would not circulate and the cells would still die.

Now, I’m going to ignore 28 Days Later, because the zombies weren’t dead. They were infected living people that the virus would affect the brain and alter its function. People no longer retained higher cognitive skills and were reduced to primitive instincts and a hunger for human flesh. These zombies were still susceptible to normal killing methods, though they appeared to be much more resilient.

Voodoo zombies seem to be similar, where the person is pretty much still alive, but lacks higher cognitive skills and are highly susceptible to suggestion. It’s essentially a form of mind control.

But, in coming up with an idea that would support the possibility of zombie existence, one would also have to account for the zombie depiction in movies. So first, we must come up with the characterstics of zombidom. First, they are usually recently dead (I am going to ignore the zombies from Return of the Living Dead since they contained zombies that not only were long-dead, but also zombies stripped of flesh) either having died of non-zombie related reasons or bitten by a zombie. Next, severe brain damage usually kills a zombie. Lastly, they desire living human flesh for sustenance.

To account for the lack of flowing blood throughout the body to nourish body cells, perhaps zombies are infected with a microbe or parasite that can move through the circulatory system or other means. These microbes or single-celled organisms travel through the body and provide nourishment to the cells keeping them alive enough to allow the body to still function. They may even hijack the cells of the body for their own purposes, possibly using them to produce more of the zombie cells. This would allow for the lack of a heart beat to push blood through the body by making them self-propelled through the body. It would also explain that damage to the body would not stop the flow of nutrients as they could bypass open wounds or move past them.

The control of the body could be caused by an infection of the brain. These zombie cells could invade and take-over brain functions, but only enough to control the body, and not its higher cognitive functions. It can gain control of motor functions, and even use the nervous system for communication to other zombie cells, much like the body uses it normally. This would also allow for severe brain damage “killing” zombies. Because destruction of the nervous system would cause the zombie cells to lose control of the host body.

As the body dies and the blood ceases to carry oxygen to the body, it’ll turn blue. Zombies frequently sport visible blue veins through the skin. As the zombie cells hijack the circulatory system to carry nutrients, perhaps an abundance of these could turn the blood green, because they’re green. Zombies sometimes spew green “blood”. This blood could be the zombie cells that use the blood stream to travel throughout the body. Or perhaps its the waste the zombie cells make unable to leave the body other ways.

Severe body damage would not kill a zombie, since the zombie cells could detour through the body and an uninterrupted path for blood would not be necessary. And a severed limb could still operate if zombie cells are able to hijack the nerve cells in that body part and continue to send appropriate electrical signals.

The nutrients for the body that the zombie cells carry could be gotten through live human flesh. Since the infection happens in a human, the zombie cells would be optimized for our body, and it may need living tissue to continue to survive. And, for the sake of not completely ignoring Return of the Living Dead, perhaps even brain tissue. Then, zombies could potentially survive for an extended period of time without live flesh by eating away at the hosts body that would be kept slightly alive by the zombie cells. But, obviously, fresh flesh would be preferred.

Essentially, zombies are parasites that claim the bodies of people, replacing some of the body functions with their own methods, and using the body to eat and claim more bodies for infection. The infection could even be a multi-staged procedure, first with a bite that sends a first wave. This wave infects the person and starts creating later stages of cells that target the brain and replace the circulatory system. These would more than likely be transmitted through saliva and “blood”.

So, this is how I would explain zombie existence. A parasitic infection that destroys the person in order to hijack the body.

This is just but one possible explanation for the existence of zombies. I have another idea that is going to be the basis for my Zombie Opus, but I’m not going to share that with you just yet. I still have a story to develop around it.

In the next of the Flashback series of posts where I dig up old entries, clean them up, and put them back on display is one from June 24, 2005 titled “Fuck the road less traveled; take no road and blaze a new trail.“:

I was thinking last night about religion, as I often do when it crosses my mind, and I realized why religion has never been attractive to me. Organized religion is a destination, whereas to me, my spirituality is a journey. I don’t view my connection with the Universe to be as simple as going to my local Jesusmart and picking up some salvation on the way to the deli. Yet, the major religions tell you that if you go to church and do as they say, then you’ll go into Heaven and get to laugh at all the heathens burning in Hell. They give you a simplistic description of God, read from a book, and ask for money.

The reason I have a problem with the religion as destination idea is because nobody can tell you what God is. The language doesn’t exist to describe it. But, in order to make it relatable to someone who hasn’t been on a spiritual journey and is limited to language, God has been transformed into a human-like entity described with fuzzy words like “omnipotent”. Just as we now laugh at the Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians for their simplistic view of the world as Gods and Goddesses fighting and intervening in their lives; I think people will similarly regard monotheistic religions for their simplistic view of the world as being created and overseen by a God. Because, I don’t think you can break down and describe what God is, because we don’t have ways to properly communicate it.

And without the language to properly communicate it, we aren’t able to completely grasp it, either, because we aren’t even able to properly communicate it with ourselves. That’s where the spiritual journey comes into play. I know that I don’t know squat about the true secrets of the Universe. I have never seen the world for what it is. I have never experience a moment for what it truly was. Because every sight, sound, taste, feeling, experience, thought is run through my brain and gets processed and analyzed, so by the time I’m aware of it, it’s already been filtered, organized, described, and cataloged. But, I am on a path that I believe will allow me to grow beyond these boundaries of my brain and be able to actually experience a moment of utter clarity, where I witness the Universe for what it is.

I think holding on to this concept of God being a single conscious being who willed everything into existence and is now sitting back and watching us like a giant ant farm is completely simplified. I don’t know what God is, but I think trying to apply analogies of human beings and human emotions and desires is the path to Getting It Very Very Wrong. But for you, that will be the Universe, because your brain will filter and process the input it gets from the outside world in such a way that everything will fit into this idea. But that doesn’t mean it’s how things really are.

That’s why I refer to my spirituality as a journey. I don’t expect to read a book and completely get God and the Secrets of the Universe, because I don’t yet have the proper concepts to understand it. And that’s why I don’t think religion is the answer, because no one can tell you anything about God that would truly describe what it is, because there’s no way to get across the true idea with words. It’s like trying to describe the color red to someone who’s blind. The best anyone can do is help you reach the answers yourself.

And the path is different for everyone. The Universe isn’t an Equal Opportunity Employer, and everyone starts off at different places, and reacts to the world in different ways. As such, the road to clarity, and working through the muck is going to be different. That’s why I think the catch all methods of religion “just do this, this, aaaaaand this, and salvation can be yours” are flawed, because they aren’t directing people to follow their path to spirituality. They’re putting a wrapper on it, telling you you’re home, and encouraging you to go no further.

Because in reality, you don’t need a church. You don’t need someone telling you what you’re doing right and wrong. You simply need to open yourself up to the world around you. Don’t bother listening to someone else tell you what God is. Let it tell you itself; just listen. It’s all around you. It is you.

I’m an Alantologist. An Alanist. Allahn.

* you may say to me “Alan, religion isn’t a destination, it’s a journey, too. You have to work at being a good person by their rules.” Well, then that’s not a real journey, then is it. It’s fine tuning and error correction.

My spiritual journey isn’t complete, but I’m still on it. I believe now that Douglas Adams had it right … it’s not an answer I’m looking for, but the question.

So, for the next part in the digging up old entries series, here’s a look at my zombie thinking a couple years ago. From March 20, 2004, a post titled “Things I’ve Learned from Zombie Movies“:

If zombies ever did start taking over the world, first, I would hope to at least be home rather than trapped somewhere, like on the subway or in a movie theater where escape would be next to impossible. Since most of my time is spent at home, this would more than likely be true.

I would assume zombies, if they really did start taking over, would be the slower, stupid zombies, not the quick, agile zombies, because theoretically, they’re animated dead people. Their bodies would still, presumably, start to go through rigor mortis, so their muscles would start tightening and they wouldn’t be so quick and flexible. Also, it doesn’t seem their bodies would be able to produce enough energy to maintain such activities.

So, we’ll discount the newer track star zombies, and focus, instead, on the classic, old-person-shuffling zombies. Now, I bring you the …

Alan Has Been Thinking of Zombies Way Too Much List:

1. Pick the person you like the least. When the zombies are closin’ in on you, shoot that person in the leg and leave them as a diversion while you run away. If you feel bad, shoot them in the head when the zombies start eating them alive. I call this the Roommate Rule.

2. Once you get bit, I’m shootin’ you in the head immediately. No ifs ands or buts. I call this the I’m-sorry,-I-love-you-honey,-but-I-have-to-shoot-you-in-the-head Rule.

3. If you ain’t got nothin’ else to do, might as well kill some zombies. Don’t just sit around and talk to people. Get your ass out there and take out some fuckin’ zombies! I call this the My New Full-time Job Rule.

4. Stick to the sticks. Cities equal higher concentration of zombies. Yeah, there’s more zombies to kill, but too easy to get overwhelmed. Better to pace the zombie killin’. I call this the Fourth Rule.

5. Two words: Zombie Death Mobile. I call this the Bruce Campbell is God Rule.

I would say those rules are still pretty golden. They’ve gotten me through some tough times, and I know they will become true words of wisdom for the Zombie Age. Only time will tell …

For 8 years and 1 week I’ve been writing blog entries sporadically on various platforms, some of the blog systems I wrote myself. I’m looking to dig through the 5,000 entries I’ve already created, pulling out some gems, polishing them off, and putting them out on display again. I’ll make slight spelling and grammar edits, but I’m not going to be adding much. I don’t dig the Lucas Treatment.

I’m going to start with a post made on June 3, 2005 titled “Associative Memories“:

I was thinking about our brains this morning. Not in the zombie Braiiiiins sorta way, but more about how our minds use associative memories. Like that previous sentence. I watch lots of zombie movies, and so in my mind, brains and zombies have a close association. Just by typing the word “brains”, I instantly thought Revenge of the Living Dead and the zombies chanting “braiiiins” over and over again as they stalked humans because bringing up one idea or memory automatically fired up any other ideas or memories that share a close association.

This also works with emotions. You associate emotions with memories just as much as you associate memories with each other. Since I’m writing an LJ post that brings up associations of humor for me (or perhaps anger if I’m venting), when brought up brains before, it could have helped strengthen the zombie connection. If I was writing an angry post, the association may have been different with something much more violent, and ultimately resulting in the destruction of said brain. One’s emotional state has an effect on the strength of associations memories have with each other.

If you create enough connections between memories and a particular emotion, you can even become addicted to them, and your brain will begin to fire off thought processes through associative memories with a particular emotion just to feel it, to get the biological fix associated with that emotion. You can become addicted to anger; you can become addicted to depression; you can become addicted to happiness. It’s all a matter of how strong these emotional ties are with your memories and how your body is reacting to the physical aspects of emotions.

Essentially, these associative memories are programming your mind, and play a huge roll in your personality and how you think. As such, someone who believes they can’t do things begins to associate failure and low self-esteem with various aspects of their lives. And then, in turn, when they bring up the memories of these events, they’re feeling those emotions again, and strengthening the associative bond, and even connecting it to more memories. Then, if these associations become strong enough and effect enough memories, whenever said person starts associating these emotions with every aspect of their life, and eventually their body could become addicted to the chemical reactions in the body and the mind will answer this addiction with making you feel it more often and more intense. It’ll turn into a viscous cycle, and it can happen with anything.

It’s how behavioral patterns get passed on from person to person, almost like a disease or a virus. Through your outside actions, you can start creating these associations in other people, and it may even mutate or be a reactionary one. Children who are sexually molested are more likely to molest children when they’ve grown up, probably because of certain associations that are created in the brain. People who are attacked can either start to become violent, or start to take on the mentality of a victim. And people who are treated with kindness create bonds of trust and generosity.

But, you do have control over this. It’s all a matter of making the right associations and connections in your brain. And it’s not a matter of just saying “I’m happy” or “I’m going to succeed”, as that’s just putting a layer of goodness on a big pile of crappy underlying negativity. I can say “Hitler was a prophet sent down from God”, but that doesn’t mean I believe it. But, saying stuff like that is a start. It’s planting seeds of association. But, it’s more important to feel the emotion. So, if you’re doing something that makes you sad, then think happier thoughts or do things that make you happy to try to create good associations. If you’re doing something and think you’re going to fail, then you more than likely will; but if you try to believe that you can do it, and start create confidence related associations then you are more likely to bring up other associations with confidence and success and will be more likely to succeed because you’re mind is operating in a capacity to support it. If you just throw darts at a board without aiming you may hit the board sometimes, but you’re going to miss most, but if you try and aim, you may miss sometimes, but you’re more likely to get the bulls eye. Unless you really suck at darts, in which case replace the analogy with something you are good at that involves aiming. Perhaps skeeball?

I guess it is the same thing behind the Power of Positive Thinking, but I view it more as emotional states. For an example, look at yoga instructors. The ones who take it seriously and believe it always have that shit eating grin of contentment on their faces. Yoga is a very relaxing exercise/spiritual path, and people who have done it for a long time have created strong associations of relaxation and tranquility in their minds, so they actually become addicted to being calm (just my theory). Not to dismiss any spiritual angle to it, as this could simply be one piece to the whole. It’s also why I dropped out of the BU yoga class I was in when I went there. After a couple weeks it became clear that it was about being able to do certain postures and not about relaxation and meditation. I didn’t want to create associations of goals and objectives with yoga, because that’s not what it’s about, and introducing these ideas didn’t bring up relaxation associations that I usually felt.

It’s definitely been something I’ve been working on for a while. I have lots of associative bonds that I’ve been trying to break, and then at the same time trying to reinforce positive associations. The simplest way I’ve come up with doing is just to do it. The whole “do or do not, there is not try” mentality, I guess. You can feel and think whatever the hell it is you want, so there’s no reason you can’t have control over that. But, that’s all easier said than done. It’s all a process.

I initially started thinking about this when I was thinking about if I fit the description of Aquarian because of any astrological reasons, or if I recognized Aquarian traits in the sense of the Law of Fives, and have subsequently begun strengthening associations of these traits and essentially becoming more Aquarian.

In the over 4 years since I wrote that post, I’ve definitely come a long way in altering my associations and changing my world perceptions. I’ve also moved quite a ways away from where I was living. That alone allowed me to create lots of fresh associations, but more importantly I’ve worked through some deep-rooted associations. I have more, but as one of my ideas at Burning Man this year states:

I’m always growing, because if I’m perfect then what’s left to strive for? Perfection is death, imperfection is life.