Alan’s Blog of Monkey Bloginess

It’s no secret that Barnes & Noble’s eBook pricing has seen come recent changes. The $9.99 blanket price for new releases has been blown away and expect to see high prices on average. But the nook supports a variety of file formats and DRM schemes that allow you load eBooks from a various sources, shopping around for the best prices.

Free & Cheap Books from Barnes & Noble
Prices are going up, but that doesn’t mean all the prices are going up. Mostly new releases are getting hit the hardest. Many older releases aren’t seeing dramatic, if any, price increases. There are free books available, and still plenty of books in the sub-$5 range.

Barnes & Noble Big Deals (most eBooks in the $1-5 range)
Barnes & Noble Free eBook Search (currently lists 951,754 results)
Barnes & Noble – All Product Search, Under $5 (currently lists 61,380 results)
Free Nook Books

Public Domain & Open Licensed
Public domain is the rule, copyright is the exception. Most of the greatest literature of the world is free, available to the everyone as part of our collective culture. Get intellectualized and read the classics. Additionally, some authors recognize value in giving their work away and provide their art under creative common or other open-license model.

Google Books
Project Gutenberg
Feedbooks
ManyBooks.net
epubBooks
Scribd

Cory Doctorow’s craphound

Independent Publishers/Authors
Sometimes going with the major distribution system isn’t a possibility. There are other avenues for some great small or unknown authors to distribute their work and make a little money by charging far less than what the major publishing houses think we should pay.

Smashwords
Baen Books

Other eBook Stores
Competition is a good thing, and sometimes competing eBook stores have different prices. Check out some of these other stores and make sure you’re getting the best deal for the books you choose to pay for.

Koko Books
Fictionwise

Library
Many libraries offer digital lending using OverDrive and Adobe Digital Editions. Check to see if you can load content loaned from your library that you’re already paying for with your taxes.

OverDrive

Blogs
The best news is by the (wo)man-on-the-street. People finding free eBooks and letting everyone else know. Here are blogs of people keeping the rest of us informed.

Finding Free eBooks
Free Books Blog

If anyone else has any other sources of getting free or cheap eBooks, or any alternatives to using Barnes & Noble for comparative price shopping, please share them. Also, any eBooks posted on the net by the authors for free distribution would be great to hear about, too.

I originally posted this on the Barnes & Noble message boards.

Did you ever want to control the forces of life & death? The Kandarian Book of the Dead is a good place to start. As shown in The Evil Dead trilogy, the Necronomicon has the ability to open the gates between Earth and Hell. What better for a little light weekend reading? But do you know Kandarian?

Have no fear, for I have translated this ancient text from the original Kandarian to modern day English without all the mucking about in the woods and falling victim to demonic possession. The alphabet is different, but remarkably Kandarian uses similar words and sentence structures as English. Below you’ll find an iPaper with the original Kandarian and modern day English translations from the Necronomicon.

Just, please, read with your eyes, not with your lips. Whatever you do: Do not read aloud.

I had originally translated these texts back in January of ‘03, but in the past 6 and a half years the original translation has been lost. I’ve dug up the original archeological photographs and retranslated the ancient texts.

Here’s what I said regarding my first go-round with translating the Necronomicon back on Feb. 2nd, 2003:

I got the Book of the Dead edition of the Evil Dead DVD from my cousin for $12.50 … and I was looking through the book it came in (that is a replica of the actual Book of the Dead made for the movie), and there’s weird writing through it. I figured out it is normal English with a different character set. So, I figured out the alphabet, and translated what the Book of the Dead said.

Some of it is really funny.

Get your own copy of the Book of the Dead!

See larger image The Evil Dead (Book Of The Dead Limited Edition) (DVD) Starring: Bruce Campbell, Sam Raimi Rating: NC-17 List Price: $49.98 USD New From: $22.99 In Stock Used From: $7.99 In Stock Released March 5, 2002.

In honor of Zombieland coming out today, I’m pulling out another Flashback blast from the past post. This one is titled “How Could Zombies Exist?” from April 14, 2004.

Last night, while trying to fall asleep, I was thinking about … zombies. But, I was thinking how could zombies really exist. If zombies are reanimated dead people, then how would that work? When a person dies, their cells no longer receive nutrients from the blood and die. Zombies’ hearts don’t beat, so the blood would not circulate and the cells would still die.

Now, I’m going to ignore 28 Days Later, because the zombies weren’t dead. They were infected living people that the virus would affect the brain and alter its function. People no longer retained higher cognitive skills and were reduced to primitive instincts and a hunger for human flesh. These zombies were still susceptible to normal killing methods, though they appeared to be much more resilient.

Voodoo zombies seem to be similar, where the person is pretty much still alive, but lacks higher cognitive skills and are highly susceptible to suggestion. It’s essentially a form of mind control.

But, in coming up with an idea that would support the possibility of zombie existence, one would also have to account for the zombie depiction in movies. So first, we must come up with the characterstics of zombidom. First, they are usually recently dead (I am going to ignore the zombies from Return of the Living Dead since they contained zombies that not only were long-dead, but also zombies stripped of flesh) either having died of non-zombie related reasons or bitten by a zombie. Next, severe brain damage usually kills a zombie. Lastly, they desire living human flesh for sustenance.

To account for the lack of flowing blood throughout the body to nourish body cells, perhaps zombies are infected with a microbe or parasite that can move through the circulatory system or other means. These microbes or single-celled organisms travel through the body and provide nourishment to the cells keeping them alive enough to allow the body to still function. They may even hijack the cells of the body for their own purposes, possibly using them to produce more of the zombie cells. This would allow for the lack of a heart beat to push blood through the body by making them self-propelled through the body. It would also explain that damage to the body would not stop the flow of nutrients as they could bypass open wounds or move past them.

The control of the body could be caused by an infection of the brain. These zombie cells could invade and take-over brain functions, but only enough to control the body, and not its higher cognitive functions. It can gain control of motor functions, and even use the nervous system for communication to other zombie cells, much like the body uses it normally. This would also allow for severe brain damage “killing” zombies. Because destruction of the nervous system would cause the zombie cells to lose control of the host body.

As the body dies and the blood ceases to carry oxygen to the body, it’ll turn blue. Zombies frequently sport visible blue veins through the skin. As the zombie cells hijack the circulatory system to carry nutrients, perhaps an abundance of these could turn the blood green, because they’re green. Zombies sometimes spew green “blood”. This blood could be the zombie cells that use the blood stream to travel throughout the body. Or perhaps its the waste the zombie cells make unable to leave the body other ways.

Severe body damage would not kill a zombie, since the zombie cells could detour through the body and an uninterrupted path for blood would not be necessary. And a severed limb could still operate if zombie cells are able to hijack the nerve cells in that body part and continue to send appropriate electrical signals.

The nutrients for the body that the zombie cells carry could be gotten through live human flesh. Since the infection happens in a human, the zombie cells would be optimized for our body, and it may need living tissue to continue to survive. And, for the sake of not completely ignoring Return of the Living Dead, perhaps even brain tissue. Then, zombies could potentially survive for an extended period of time without live flesh by eating away at the hosts body that would be kept slightly alive by the zombie cells. But, obviously, fresh flesh would be preferred.

Essentially, zombies are parasites that claim the bodies of people, replacing some of the body functions with their own methods, and using the body to eat and claim more bodies for infection. The infection could even be a multi-staged procedure, first with a bite that sends a first wave. This wave infects the person and starts creating later stages of cells that target the brain and replace the circulatory system. These would more than likely be transmitted through saliva and “blood”.

So, this is how I would explain zombie existence. A parasitic infection that destroys the person in order to hijack the body.

This is just but one possible explanation for the existence of zombies. I have another idea that is going to be the basis for my Zombie Opus, but I’m not going to share that with you just yet. I still have a story to develop around it.

When the zombies attack, getting out of major cities should be a top priority. They are going to be congested, chaotic, and you’re going to have more issues with other survivors than you are zombies. Highways are going to be rivers of death, as they are going to be clogged with abandoned cars, sometimes with unhappy passengers still locked inside looking to snatch your yummy brain meats. So, for the Zombie Headhunter looking to plan ahead early, here are some communities to consider now for a better chance at survival later.

There are various criteria that should go into selecting your home now and your home post Zed-Day. Here are the top locations based on various pro-Zombie defense metrics. Work a Zombie Plan around each place, or pick a location that works best with your preferred zombie hunting lifestyle.

5. City in the Middle: Smith County, Kansas (Lebanon)
People on the coasts: you’re screwed. There’s just too many people on the coasts to get away quickly enough to avoid any sort of chaos. You’re going to have to rely almost entirely on your wits and prudent planning to get your through the first wave of infections. And your first order of business is to get out into the boonies as quickly as possible. Of course, if you’re in Lebanon, KA, you’re already pretty much in the middle of the contiguous 48 states. With a population of 303, there isn’t a whole lot of people to contend with either. So set-up your zombie guard tower, because Kansas is flatter than a pancake, so you should be able to take out hordes of zombies that make it that far inland from afar without ever having to smell the stench of the Zed-Heads.

4. Least Populated County: Loving County, Texas (Population: 67)
When it’s time to start clearing your neighborhood, it sure helps to not have a lot of neighbors to have to dispatch. The average American county has 100,000 residents, but Loving County in Texas only has 67. If everybody else in your county become zombies overnight, it’d take a lazy afternoon, tops, to kill off all the zombies. But then again, we are speaking of Texas, so the likelihood of many of them becoming zombies is slim since you aren’t likely to be most heavily armed person in the area. No matter what you think of your gun & bow collection beforehand.

3. Oldest County Population: La Paz County, Arizona (32% >65)
Probably not a place you’d want to live in before the Zompocalypse, but living near a place with a high elderly population does contain its own set of advantages. Namely, the bodies of the recently deceased will be frailer and easier to kill. Their bones becoming brittle with the ravages of time. Not to mention you’re likely to have easier time surviving the other survivors. Hoping for a night-time mass zombie outbreak, many of the elderly residents wouldn’t have time to put their dentures in, which would make risk of a zombie encounter slightly less risky; being gummed to death doesn’t sound nearly as life threatening.

2. Most Remote City: Hinsdale County, Colorado (Lake City)
With 95% of the county considered national land and put aside for possible wilderness, the trek in and out is not heavily developed, and you aren’t likely to get a lot of tourists. It will also put you in a pole position to slip out of society entirely and rough it in the wilderness. If it’s hard for normal people to get in, it’ll be hard for zombies; not to mention there isn’t likely to be a large influx of people at the last minute. No people, no zombies.

1. City at Highest Elevation: Alma, Colorado (10,578 feet)
Seeing as how zombies would inevitably be less agile and nimble than us still breathing, and they would be become less so with each passing day, gaining high ground can be the difference between life and unending death. As zombies attempt to climb mountains, tearing muscles that won’t heal, they would find themselves unable to reach the fruit at the highest branches. So, might as well get yourself to those higher branches by going up a mountain. There’s the added benefit of it being fairly inaccessible by anyone during heavy winter snowfall. Defending a high ground position against the undead gets gravity to work for you; keeps the zombies down, and allows you to help them stay there, just like The Man. And with a population of 179, not a whole lot of other people to be too concerned with.

And there you have it. Figure out which needs you have for your surroundings, and then find the community that fits those needs. To some, having a population that is likely to be overtaken early, but leave easy to dispatch zombies may be more tempting than a less populated but more heavily defend-able area. To each their own, because it’s how you leverage your surroundings in your Zombie Plans that utilize the strengths and support the weaknesses that are truly going to contribute to your success or failure. And your failure gives me one more opportunity at success with another zombie to hunt down.

Moving to Colorado was Phase I of my Zombie Plans. Getting away from the congested coasts … it’s vitally important and could save your life.

The Law of Fives states simply that: All things happen in fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly or indirectly appropriate to 5

The Law of Fives is never wrong.

-Malaclypse the Younger, Principia Discordia, Page 00016

To the uninitiated, the Law of Fives is a concept and a religious tenant. The Law of Fives holds in high regard the Holy Number 23, which was the basis for a movie regarding the sacred number staring an “In Living Color” alumnus. It’s the belief that all things in the Universe are directly or indirectly related to the number 5, as demonstrated through 23: 2 + 3 = 5.

Mostly, it’s a mind exercise. As you start to look for 5, you will start to see 5s. As you look harder you’re subconscious mind will start to pick up on them more when you aren’t looking, and it will appear to your conscious mind that the occurrences of the number 5 is increasing when really it is just your perceptions. It is important to note that as you work through this exercise, realize that the Law of Fives is never wrong. And that you can replace 5 with anything.

With whatever it is that you believe, we are creatures of patterns. Our brains are wired to use associative memories to create prototypes of real world objects and concepts, and then apply these prototypes to match patterns we see in the world. Our subconscious minds do a lot of this work for us before our conscious minds are even aware there is something to be aware of. So, listen to those “gut feelings” you have; that’s your subconscious mind telling you there is something important and you should be paying attention. Our subconscious does this in large part to these prototype patterns, and when you repeatedly look for something, it creates strong associations and those patterns get flagged as important. So, while the number 22 may actually appear more often in one’s life, it’s insignificance causes it to be overlooked.

The indirect aspects demonstrate that if you take the concept further then you can start to stretch and manipulate just about anything to fit into the pattern. With the number 23, it’s the fact the individual digits can sum to the number 5 that proves the Law of Fives. Other examples of numerical manipulation for the number 5 are:

41: 4 + 1 = 5
61: 6 – 1 = 5
45: divisible by 5
631: 6 + 3 + 1 = 10: divisible by 5
841: 8 – 4 + 1 = 5
842: 8 + 4 + 2 = 14: 1 + 4 = 5

So as long as you can come up with some sort of story that links whatever concept you’re dealing with to the number 5, then that proves the Law of Fives.

Now that the mind exercise has you thinking the Universe is built on the number 5, it’s time to make the jump to religious beliefs. If you believe in the concepts of a monotheistic creationist story, then you will see supporting evidence and your blinders will be on to information that doesn’t fit into that pattern. If you believe in science, then the world will fit into the concepts of contemporary theories. For whatever you believe, your perceptions of the world are going to be influenced by those beliefs. Since our personal experiences with life are based on our perceptions and prototype patterns, then we’re not seeing an unbiased view of reality. And since no one sees an unbiased view of reality, is there such a thing?

In the end, just realize that your perceptions of reality may not be what actually is reality. So chill out, relax, it’s not worth getting upset about. That’s what the Law of Fives is all about.

Starting with a movie staring Kurt Russell and James Spader, Stargate has spawned two television series, two additional made-for-cable movies, and now a third television series. Stargate SG-1, the first television series spin-off from the theatrical movie, has been the longest running Sci-Fi single series in television history. For many fans, Stargate is as Star Trek and Star Wars is to previous generations.

Whereas previous space adventure series have taken place in either the future or distance galaxies, Stargate takes place here and now. And through the use of wry wit, cultural references, and allegorical alien cultures, it is able to hold a mirror to ourselves and our world and force us to examine our perceptions and assumptions about who we are and where we are headed. It is the greatest role of sci-fi stories that in showing us a world of possibilities and wonder, force us to terms with where we are at now.

Star Trek showed us American bravado in a quickly changing world where perceptions of women and minorities were in dramatic transition. People on all sides were having difficulties in how traditional roles and stereotypes fit or didn’t fit, and how they would be redefined. Star Trek was able to propose a world far enough in the future that it could address many of these issues with a disconnect of centuries of culture evolution in between what it was presenting and what people were going through in their daily lives. Of course, watching the original series now, you can see just how not far enough it went, when in the course of a couple decades, we’ve outpaced the futuristic visions from the ’60s by leaps and bounds. Later series have updated the topics of social and political progression.

Star Wars has long been the cautionary tale of totalitarian government oppression on a galactic scale. Taking place in contemporary times, it happens in a galaxy far, far away, and is able to distance itself from current realities by not actually happening to Earth-based humans. Though through use of “The Force” and Lucas’ disregard to being limited to physics, Star Wars is mainly considered fantasy rather than science fiction.

To me, Stargate SG-1 has stood above the rest in its drama, in its comedy, in its grit and ability to get to the core of the issues with a giant mirror and force the viewer to take a good luck at their own perceptions. By having the U.S. Air Force heading Stargate Command, the show was able to take hard looks at U.S. military actions while maintaining a respect for the servicemen. It was able to show the conflict of interest between a government military force and civilian science interests in ways that Star Trek sidesteps and Star Wars completely ignores.

Through use of the Goa’uld, and later the Ori, SG-1 was able to take on issues of religion. The former by use of the parasitic aliens that co-opt the Earth’s major religions of the ancient worlds to enslave pockets of transplanted humans; and the latter was able to put a harsh look at the rise of trends like the rise in Christianity that used proselytizing and missionaries to convert populations. It is able to examine themes of anthropology, science, belief systems, social structures, human rights, and a plethora of other social issues through the worlds the Stargate teams visited over the course of 10 seasons.

Stargate Atlantis took a more in-depth look at the science and management structures as the SG team took on the less approachable Wraith. The management of the Atlantis expedition started as a scientific research endeavor, then was led by military, then science again, and the show ended its 5 season run being run by a bureaucrat. And the upcoming Stargate Universe looks take the series more science fiction and move the humans even further from the reach of Earth.

In the pantheon of Stargate, SG-1 stands firm as the strongest of the pillars along with the movie that spawn it. It allowed the deepest looks at who we are and how we’ve come here. It showed us with unflinching honesty what it is that makes us human. It gave us the tools to shift our perceptions of why we are who we are. Later Stargate offerings have started to shift more towards the science fiction aspects, but without needing to take the same steps SG-1 did, they are offering new windows into our Universe and ourselves.

And that’s the power of sci-fi in general.

Everything Stargate SG-1 on Amazon! | Seasons 1-7 on Hulu
Everything Stargate Atlantis on Amazon! | Last 10 episodes on Hulu
Everything Star Trek on Amazon!
Star Wars search on Amazon!

See larger image Stargate SG-1: The Complete Series Collection (DVD) Starring: Richard Dean Anderson, Michael Shanks, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Don S. Davis Rating: NR (Not Rated) List Price: $199.98 USD New From: $89.98 In Stock Used From: $76.45 In Stock Released October 9, 2007.